No one has ever heard of the beer you are currently drinking.
You've named or plan to name your first son John, Jonathan, Charles, Knox, Owen, Calvin, Martin, Luther, Martin Luther, or Jean.
You have a beard (or wish you did).
You smoke a pipe.
You consult the PCA church directory when planning domestic vacations.
You dream of being accidentally left behind after hours in the Curry library (which, if you don't happen to be in the know, currently houses around 7,000 books from Charles Spurgeon's personal library).
You have a dream Bible.
You've considered Wittenberg, Germany as a great honeymoon destination.
You know what PCA, OPC, CREC, EPC, RPCNA, and APC stand for.
You refer to non-Christians as "unregenerates."
John Piper really is your homeboy.
You don't shop at Christian bookstores.
You've used the line, "Baby, your name must be Grace because you are irresistible" on women.
It's "Reformation Day" not "Halloween."
You've taped a copy of the 95 theses to the door of the nearest Catholic or seeker sensitive church on Reformation Day.
You can finish the names of each of these men:
You end each email with "Soli Deo Gloria."